The food named after people...

It all began in the planes...

Watu walipewa maua and some leaves na kila mtu akakula mpaka my seat mate asked for mine which lay there untouched and swapped with her cake..... Eih! Ulajuo and poor upbringing itaniua na njaa hapa US jameni!

I am checking out the menu kwa hoteli na kila kitu either ni jina ya mtu ama ina sound kama bunduki and here I thought I am a global citizen and I don't need to remind you that I am a cousin.... (If you don't whose cousin I am then I need to poke you, unfriend you and block you if you never heard of Obama)....

Breakfast iko Eggs Benedict..... Sasa who names eggs after a whole Pope? I am also Catholic!

I ignore that and start dying slowly in installment one...

Now there is Maple Almond Granola and we all know I don't watch soap operas so I don't know if hii ni supu ama soap ya tv.....

I am dying slowly....

Tena I see Char Sui Chicken and not sure why m Chinese anaitwa Char Sui analeta kuku huku ama sio kuku yenye we know.....

I shake my head kwa njaa halisi iliyo mpaka na herbal kwa wakati huu...

Then I spot some Kal-Bi Pork medallions, sasa hii ndio appendix ya mtu wa Korea ama nini tena jameni!

I start humming a song inaudible to the rest....

Then I smile finally....

Nipewe hii bunduki inaitwa Fire grilled 8oz Filet Mignon.... It sounds like gun moja ya nguvu kwanza hiyo part imeandikwa 8oz na fire....

I am told that is entree!

I stop smiling and wait for the last installment of my dying....

I break loudly into the song I had been humming.... 'Narudi Nyumbani' by Remmy Ongala Sura Mbaya and Orchestra Supa Matimila Band..

Whatever happened to fried chicken and chips; I thought that is a universal meal jameni! I am going to look for the doughnuts we see cops eating in movies....

Then will look for some Kenyan here to show me food.