An open letter to our unborn son - ‘Aron Arodi Jr.’

Dear Jr.

We have quietly but excitedly had you around us for the past nine months and it is now time for you to formally make an entry into the world any time from now – at your own decision. We have seen your pictures; a little of your face and hands and happy to see you fully soon.

When your mother informed me about your presence many months ago, I did not have much to say but only wished she carried a pregnancy free of any complications to the delivery point. So far, so good and it is my and our hope that it shall stay that way until your birth.

Your Sister

You will find a big sister here already called ‘Amor Arodi’ who will no doubt be super happy to meet you in person and be that sibling you would always be happy to have. In her current brain, she believes that when you arrive; she will take you outside to play and ride her bike. It is not very possible for you and her to understand that it will not be practical for about two years or so. It is our hope that even though she will have grown older by that many years, she will not give up on her desire to take you outside and show you to the world.

‘Amor’ her name means happiness in Dholuo, a language we speak in the Luo community. You will find happiness in having her around your life. Her name means happiness and ‘Arodi’ is a name she carries in honour of my father – your grandfather whom I hold in very high regard.

For the past many weeks, Amor has been asking so many questions some bordering on the absurd but we smile them away. She has asked what you are doing, why you are sleeping for so long, why you kick and move and if you are happy. For the most part, we had responses that seemed to satisfy her curiosity.  She has kissed you though your mummy’s tummy so many times and we have no reason to doubt that she genuinely loves you already. She is amazing in her own little ways and has already told anyone who has ears that she is having a brother coming up. From her friends and playmates in the estate to her classmates in the Zoom classes and many other parties we may not have heard.

She is as happy as her name to have you with us. We are happy too and cannot wait to see you soon.

Your name.

We have given you two important names too. ‘Aron Arodi’, two Luo names which belong to our fathers – your grandfathers. ‘Aron’ is the name of your mother’s good father who you will get to meet in person, learn from and make great memories with while ‘Arodi’ is my father’s name, a man you will not see or meet but hear about a lot during your life.

You, just like your sister; do not carry my name ‘Owino’ since my dad’s name is big enough to carry the me in you and you together. However, you are the son of Owino and not Arodi.

Carry these two names we have provided you with all honour, integrity and dignity as you live and walk this earth as it is the best way to respect your forefathers who bore the names before you. They are by all means men of dignity.

Your mother and I, the Arodi’s and Aron’s, the friends and the world is waiting and happy to receive and celebrate your arrival when it happens. We will – especially your mum, your sister and I – be always here for you right from the start with me being in the room when you are born as I did for your sister. I hope someday you will be there in the room to witness the birth of your children too if you will have any.

The world and our commitments.

You will find a world that is full of so many lessons, stuff, people, ideas, challenges and so many issues that you may not comprehend fully but will be part of what makes life be. At forty years, I have not comprehended everything around too and that is all human. Do not get worked up when you do not. That notwithstanding, I can only make you promises, wishes and share highlights that will and do also apply to your sister Amor.

I will always be here for you my little man and walk the path of life with you through my life. I wish I get to live into my late 80s as my dad so you are able to live a full life with me around. However, I have no control of how long I will be around but will make the best for the time I will be with you. I will make it forever for you and I when it lasts.

I had a good father who taught me a lot of things that I apply in life among them the value of being a good and true friend, a person of integrity, a man who respects time and people and most importantly; one who is consistent in his values and conduct. I will pass these on to you and hope you do stay true to type. It takes time to perfect these but I believe you will have the ability once you have the right mindset as you grow older. I will be a good father to you too.

Your mum and I are friendly people who smile many times over. Please carry that smile with you, it warms hearts around you. Your sister is already as happy as her name and smiles too, bring that smile out and wear it even if you have nothing else to wear. We will try to provide what to wear but life may provide us with nothing some days but keep smiling.

   We will provide the best for you. The best we can afford and provide may not necessarily appear to be so in your eyes but trust that we mean the best in offering the much we will be able to do Your grandfather – my father – used to say ‘Kaka ichako ok e kaka nitieki’ (How you start is not how you will finish). This simply means that life is not a straight line, there will be ups and downs in your life with or without us. While alive and with you, we shall weather the good and bad together. 

     I will help you make friends and very good friends who will feel and be part of your family. My father made us know what friendship was like by having his best friend ‘ Ondiege Nyaugu 'Bim’ around us as children and adults. We learnt about value of friendship from their relationship that lasted to his death. You too, will find me having friends whom I have known for ages. They will be around me and around you for as long as they are alive so that you can learn from us how to make and keep great people around you. Be true to your friends throughout your life here.

     Your mum and I will be honest with you. I will tend to be more honest which you will find blunt or as they say at work ‘needing emotional intelligence’. Do not bother about such scientific terms when we will share our honest feedback and guidance with you. My old man used to say that people who truly care about you are the ones who will tell you things that are not very comfortable to hear. I will tell them to you before the world does. Even my dad told me how terrible I looked wearing a mavin hat when no one else did. I never wore any after that. He was one of three humans who ever told me if I had bad breadth. You will learn how that is feedback people do not pass along easily. I will let you know if you ever have bad breadth. 

     We do not promise to be perfect parents. I do not promise to be a perfect father. We promise to be good enough to show you the right way. Sometimes it will not feel so to you but I will one day sit you with my mum and hear from her how much she did to make me a good son. As a kid,  I did not like her for that but learnt to appreciate her actions as I grew older. You may or may not turn out to be the headache I was to my mum but I will only use what is tested and proven on me on you. Science may not agree but my mum – your grandmother - did not subscribe to science but something called parenting.

   We wish you will be able to find the best path to bring out the best in you, to happiness and comfort. May that path be one that only makes you stronger and better and not hard and cold towards others. We will try to be by your side through the entire path. 

Be kind. We are both from families that are full of kindness. Your mother and I contribute in various ways to make the world a better place for all. We learnt that from our parents who did and still do the same. Do not despise the weak, the poor and those who lack. Treat them with dignity and kindness even if you provide them with assistance. I will let you hang onto the most important message your grandfather liked passing along, “Make sure you have someone tell you at least one ‘Thank you’ before sunset”. 

     You are coming into a world broadly ruled by technology. I will not enumerate what it is like for me and us at this point of your birth but know that it will be way different for you as you grow older as Artificial Intelligence takes over. We will learn how to maneuver this together.

     From me and us; we wish to welcome you to life. 

    We are excited to receive and love you our little Aron Arodi Jr. In the eyes of your parents, you will always be the little boy.

Karibu!