While I was away; Aluru took over..
While I was away, I hear several things happened:
1. Some small birds took over Kenya by storm; everyone is suddenly feeding on those innocent birds whose only crime was a rumour began to spread that their eggs can make a man finish with the 72 virgins -that terrorists are promised - without him being finished. To this I say, nyoforidha!
How can one eat some tiny eggs to make it? A man does not need any eggs to succeed. He only needs good nyama tumbukiza, half a liter of good soup, matumbo kiasi, avocado na njugu and he can reach space and back without even knowing that those small birds are called 'Aluru' in my community............Now I hear that to pass a message that the man of the house has not been bringing his 89% to the coalition, some women are buying and deliberately displaying those eggs in their houses so the man can up his game. Patia mzee njugu bakuli moja kila jioni baada ya chakula, achana na aluru izae na ijaze dunia jameni!
2. Some people found God in a church lawn and ate all the grass plus God who they were told was in the grass! When I heard this, I said ''woi!'' and to this I say, nyefnyef!
The last time I spoke about Pastors and their lies, I received emails copied to God to strike me with lightning, make my fingers swell, make my nails so long that I would not be able to scratch my !@#$ if they itched and some even asking that my daughters be born with three bottoms each! I said ''Amen'' to those emails and I just cut my nails yesterday.
I believe in religion and also believe in raw and untapped human stupidity. When a fake Pastor encounters the raw human stupidity, he taps it to the fullest and so those who ate grass will know.
3. That someone replaced my name with that of Dida in the list of the political appointments that I featured. To this I say, washidwe!
How can anyone mistake Dida for me? Eih! Even our names are not close. I now understand that this is being worked on and I could soon land a political appointment. What worries me is how you will access me when I am in that big office? These people will block you unless you poke me and I poke you back jowa!..... Anyway, that was just but a dream since I am told while I was also away, the age of the Kenyan youth was revised to be between 48-83 and therefore I am considered still breastfeeding. It is so unfair for the Kenyan male aged between 18-34 to be considered to be a breastfeeding person while what they are engaged in is secondary breastfeeding whose intention has nothing to do with being full to stop crying like those in the primary stage.
May all men stop breastfeeding so that we are known to be the youth and get these appointments. May as many as of that opinion say............
1. Some small birds took over Kenya by storm; everyone is suddenly feeding on those innocent birds whose only crime was a rumour began to spread that their eggs can make a man finish with the 72 virgins -that terrorists are promised - without him being finished. To this I say, nyoforidha!
How can one eat some tiny eggs to make it? A man does not need any eggs to succeed. He only needs good nyama tumbukiza, half a liter of good soup, matumbo kiasi, avocado na njugu and he can reach space and back without even knowing that those small birds are called 'Aluru' in my community............Now I hear that to pass a message that the man of the house has not been bringing his 89% to the coalition, some women are buying and deliberately displaying those eggs in their houses so the man can up his game. Patia mzee njugu bakuli moja kila jioni baada ya chakula, achana na aluru izae na ijaze dunia jameni!
2. Some people found God in a church lawn and ate all the grass plus God who they were told was in the grass! When I heard this, I said ''woi!'' and to this I say, nyefnyef!
The last time I spoke about Pastors and their lies, I received emails copied to God to strike me with lightning, make my fingers swell, make my nails so long that I would not be able to scratch my !@#$ if they itched and some even asking that my daughters be born with three bottoms each! I said ''Amen'' to those emails and I just cut my nails yesterday.
I believe in religion and also believe in raw and untapped human stupidity. When a fake Pastor encounters the raw human stupidity, he taps it to the fullest and so those who ate grass will know.
3. That someone replaced my name with that of Dida in the list of the political appointments that I featured. To this I say, washidwe!
How can anyone mistake Dida for me? Eih! Even our names are not close. I now understand that this is being worked on and I could soon land a political appointment. What worries me is how you will access me when I am in that big office? These people will block you unless you poke me and I poke you back jowa!..... Anyway, that was just but a dream since I am told while I was also away, the age of the Kenyan youth was revised to be between 48-83 and therefore I am considered still breastfeeding. It is so unfair for the Kenyan male aged between 18-34 to be considered to be a breastfeeding person while what they are engaged in is secondary breastfeeding whose intention has nothing to do with being full to stop crying like those in the primary stage.
May all men stop breastfeeding so that we are known to be the youth and get these appointments. May as many as of that opinion say............
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